Here Comes Santa Claus

The wretchedness of those fat, red suspenders was unbearable,
The despicable fake white fur gleamed in the red Christmas tree lights.
The red coat was pitifully stretched,
The pants were tragic, to say the least.
The unfortunate black boots clonked heavily as he walked,
Leaving sooty footprints from the fireplace on the recently swiffered hardwood floor.
The contemptible wide black belt was one notch too short,
All sorts of unknown food lingered in the nauseating white beard.
His blue eyes neither sparkled nor glittered,
His smile was not kind or handsome.
His hair had not been combed or cut in awhile,
The hat was too small for the monstrously grotesque head.
The grungy bag slung casually over the shoulder boasted holes and snags,
The presents laid out were not properly wrapped.
One cookie was shoved into a carnivorous mouth,
The rest were thrust into the grunge bag.
The eggnong was slugged too quickly,
Then tossed to spill it's remains on the floor.
Here comes Santa Claus.